Top CONNECTIONS CAFÉ Takeaways

CONNECTIONS CAFÉ Overview

When COVID-19 hit Raising Resilience switched gears and launched CONNECTIONS CAFÉ, a free virtual Cafe to help our parenting community come together (while keeping their distance) to process and implement the shift in our daily lives.

Guest speakers moderated discussions on a variety of topics from boosting your immune system to behavioral strategies to how to keep your kids engaged and off screens beyond learning time. Most of the videos are now available through our Video Library page to watch at your convenience, when you need them most, for a suggested donation (free access is available for those who need it). Here are the top takeaways from each session.

We are also making our featured speaker webinar, THE SELF-DRIVEN CHILD, available for the original ticket price of $16. If you missed the event or want to watch it again, here’s your chance to watch it on your own time.

Top Takeaways from each CONNECTIONS CAFE Session

May 31, 2020

Behavioral Support Strategies for Toddlers – Teens (slides)

w/ Shealeen Kennedy, M.Ed, BCBA, LBA

Overview: How to work with kids during quarantine and home schooling. How to set expectations while providing support to children while they are home schooling.

Top Takeaways

*Big takeaway for younger kids - try calming them down before addressing the behavior and find flexible ways to engage them academically. Set Up A Consistent Structure:

• Set consistent bedtime

• Wake up naturally but pay attention if your child is sleeping longer than usual, this may be a sign of depression

• Take medications and supplements at consistent times

• Try to eat meals at consistent times during the day

• Exercise consistently

• Take sun breaks

• Practice routine hygiene

*Big takeaway for teens - now is a good time to work on life skills that will prepare them for college (cooking, cleaning, finances, etc.).

*Bonus teens takeaway - let them set and write down their own schedule and show it to you for approval.

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April 7, 2020

Boost Your Immune System and Your Mood (slides)

w/ Stephanie Dalton (Holistic Nutritionist & Health Coach)

Overview: When we consider how to protect ourselves and our family during perilous times, we often want to skip right to the agents (supplements or otherwise) that will help our immune system to do its job better, but it’s important to “clear” and “calm” in addition to boosting.

Top Takeaways

*Clear Waste from Your Body

• Hydrate

• Eat Fiber

• Consider digestive supplements

• Consume probiotics

*Enhance Your Immune System

• Take supplements (D,C, NAC, Quercetin and zinc)

• Herbs elderberry, garlic, echinacea, turmeric, astragalus & oregano

• Avoid Smoke

• Avoid inflammatory foods (gluten, dairy, refined sugar, alcohol, processed foods)

* Enhance Detoxification

• Use a neti pot

• Clear lungs with humidifier and air purifier

• Hot saunas, salt baths

• More the lymph system blowing bubbles and exercising

April 21, 2020

​Parenting with Compassion (slides)

w/Betsy Lydle Smith, Master Virtues Facilitator

Overview: Language has the power to inspire or to discourage. Betsy discusses how she helps resolve problems such as lack of integrity and respect, disunity, bullying, discipline and power struggles, while encouraging people to achieve their potential with 5 strategies and 52 virtues. Virtues Training helps create kindness, caring, joy and peacefulness in families, schools, organizations and helps individuals to live purposeful and meaningful lives through workshops, online courses, and materials.

Top Takeaways

Example of Virtues:

*Compassion- Spend more time listening not talking. Sometimes our children and partners don’t need us to fix anything, they just need to be heard with compassion and led to their inner wisdom.

*Moderation- Create healthy balance between work, rest, reflection and play. You don’t need to be all things to all people. Practicing healthy boundaries adds value to our time and energy.

*Appreciation– Recognize gifts that come our way and show gratitude. Perceive positive intentions and honor them. Love thrives on appreciation.

May 5, 2020

Mindful Parenting Through Crisis (slides)

w/ Jendi Watson, CHT

Overview: Mindfulness is a calm place of observing what is happening in the present moment. There’s space and ease while sitting deeply inside your skin.

Top Takeaways

To learn how to be ok in the uncertainty and live well during Covid-19, these 5 pillars to cope:

*Structure- Simple and predictable schedule your family can count on

*Connection- Connect with your children in a way they will feel loved

*Movement- Be active and move with others, walk group lessons etc.

*Do What You Love- What do you love to do? Do it!

*Boundaries- Bring in what feels good, leave the rest behind such as social media etc.

May 19, 2020

​Validating Your Child's Need for Independence (slides)

w/ Courtney Oliver, LMHC and Helen Burke (BYS)

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Overview: During the Pandemic, our jobs as parents are to learn how to foster safe independence. Our goal as parents is to be the scaffolding for our children. When the scaffolding is removed the child is able to stand on their own.

Top Takeaways

• Be present and practice active listening

• Flip your perspective and outlook on adolescence - choose language carefully

• Help them see their competence by trusting them with important jobs

• Allow yourself to be influenced by your teen - encourage testing of new ideas

• Involve teens in family decision making

• Increase your tolerance for push back - responding vs reacting

• Find small ways to connect in warmth, fun, humor, shared experience

• Sit in the same space, physical contact, express interest in what they enjoy, invite them even if you know they will say no. Quality not quantity.

• Help them tolerate difficult emotions and uncertainty by sharing your own emotions and uncertainties

• Mindfulness/Mindsight Exercises

• Apps - Stop Think and Breathe, Calm

• Foster connection with/ability to name body sensations, emotions, thoughts

June 9, 2020

​Positive Parenting Strategies (slides)

w/ Peggy Koivu, Certified Positive Discipline Facilitator &

co-founder of Odyssey Multiage Program

Overview: Positive Discipline is a discipline model that focuses on the positive behavior. It is based on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviors

Top Takeaways

*What we need to remember when we are parenting:

• Validate your children’s feelings

• Listen to them and give them choices and responsibility

• Empower them by having faith in them

• Allow them to flex their “disappointment muscles” so they will fell capable

• Give unconditional love

• Provide opportunities to help & contribute

• Teach them that mistakes are wonderful and the best way for all of us to learn

June 23, 2020

The Parental Role in Your Child's Athletic Experience (slides)

w/ Ian McCallum, Director of Coaching – BIFC

Overview: Team sports foster resilience, respect, discipline, leading and following, focus, responsibility, commitment, multi-tasking, confidence, goal setting, self-reflection. Ian discusses what role parents should play in their child’s experience.

Top Takeaways

*Giving Feedback: When and Where?

• When can I talk to my child about his or her performance in a game? The answer is allowing the child to come to you. It’s not your journey it is your child’s journey.

*Body Language: What It Says To Our Children

• Your kids are watching your body language as you respond to your kids. Stay calm so the child can react not the parent.

• It’s okay for your kids to fail.

*Finding the Sport for Your Child

• Children decide as they go through the steppingstones of sports. Ideally you want the kids to play for life. Intermural sports are a great place for lots of kids.

• Expose your kids to different sports to see where it takes them. It may or may not be their thing.

• By 7-8th grade you typically see kids pick the sport they really like.

• Encourage your kids to stick to a commitment of a team and sport.

*The Student Athlete

• Teens have a full-time job without being in sports so parents need to be careful not to over-schedule your kids.

• Academics always come first.

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June 30, 2020

Let's Talk About Racism: Using a growth mindset

to engage in conversation about racism

w/ Karen Vargas & Chasity Malatesta,

BISD's Multicultural Advisory Council (MAC) and

Spencer Bispham & Sarah Bukair, Youth Social Justice League

Overview: Bainbridge has a rich history of ally-ship and connecting students to that history can launch them into being lifetime advocates and allies. This is an opportunity. Shame should not be attached to learning and growing students mind around racial equality.

Top Takeaways

• Mannerisms, jokes, stereotypes and stories that fuel a narrative about a marginalized group can have profound influence in a kids belief system around race. Sometime what we do not say speaks volumes.

• why would any group need to believe that any other group is inferior? What advantages might that group have perpetuating that idea?

• If you see yourself as a not racist it may bother you, but you may not act. If you see yourself as someone who is an anti-racist, then your committing to take action.

• Actions may be listening, holding space for a person of color, upstanding for someone or asking how you can help in a situation.

• Being an antiracist is an active dismantling of practices and policies that oppress people.

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